My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize