I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
