We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
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