Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Randomize
