Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Randomize
