I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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