i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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