i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
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The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
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He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
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