Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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