No stitches, just platelets and will power
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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