that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize
