Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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