Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I am never drinking with the goths again.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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