shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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