just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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