I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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