My hair reeks of homosexuality.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
