I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
