garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
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