There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize
