she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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