Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
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