so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
OPIZZABONMYDICK
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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