I must be too annoying 4 u.
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
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