if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
