He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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