Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
