Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
