Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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