weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
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