also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize
