Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Randomize
