She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
