i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize