Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
