i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
It was confusing and full of hummus
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
