so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I came so hard my ears popped.
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