this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
you inspire me to be a worse person
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
