no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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