Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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