How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
