Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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