idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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