like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Randomize
