what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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