And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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