So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
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