I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Randomize
