Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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