Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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