His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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