i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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