I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
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