I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
