I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
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