Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
