Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
