puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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