Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
he was CRYING into my vagina
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
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