Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
So much Jack, so little girl.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Randomize
