im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
