Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
