I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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