Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Randomize
